Times Change

Change. Such a complicated thing. Unless your change if for the good. But even then it can still be hard. We have gone through so many changes over the past 5 months. And if I was a good blogger, I would have posted them along the way. But as you can tell, I am not. This has been difficult for me and most of the time I feel like I have nothing to say. Which is probably for the best. Hopefully it has kept me out of some trouble.

I have started back to work. No facials. Preschoolers. I am the teachers assistant to the K4 class at the school my children attend. This was not planned, but I was fortunate to have this huge blessing dropped in my lap.

My Dad is now living with us. Another unexpected change. I am enjoying getting to know him all over again and having my kiddos know him better.

Travis has closed his business due to lack of business. He did not have any work the whole summer. Instead of enjoying our time together, we spent it all worrying about the next day. He is not one to take off work or go on vacation so it was a big adjustment to have him home most of the time. It was also a constant reminder of our situation.

But through it all I have been amazed at how God has provided for us in this situation. We had money in savings that has sustained us mostly. We have also been blessed by wonderful friends and family. But it wasn't until we used all of our provisions that His kicked in.

Last night as I was taking a load of laundry out of the dryer I was thinking, "I'm not passing the test." See, I believe that hard times come to test our faith. Its not so much that I have a lack of faith, but that I'm weary from the fight. I want to give in. My enemy wants me to think that God has not been there for us, that we should never experience any discomfort.

But God is faithful. Something I must meditate on. It must be a ticker scrolling through my brain at all times. God is good. God loves me, even if He allows me to experience some pain. And now I must take my own advice and continue to give this battle to Him. He is the only one who can win it!